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All Things Footie | Monday, August 14 | Jordan

Warming up

The close season is always a dull time for football news. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been tempted to write something discussing the endless, tedious transfer sagas that have dogged the summer: Ashley Cole’s protracted transfer to Chelsea, the van Nistelroij/Ronaldo/Rooney spats, the inexplicably complicated shenanigans surrounding the Hunchback of Marseille (Franck Ribery) transfer to whoever gets the better of Olympique Marseille’s enigmatic chairman Pape Diouf. The Italian bribery scandals—where unsurprisingly we’re now seeing the initially harsh but fair punishments being reduced to proverbial slaps on the wrist—and the low and dirty tactics of Real Madrid trying to secure a big signing for the summer all do nothing but leave a bitter and unpleasant taste in my mouth.

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve simply not had much interest-in or enthusiasm-for football recently, and I didn’t want to reel off inane stock transfer chatter to fill some column inches. You can get that by more dedicated commentators elsewhere, though why you’d want it I don’t know.

The combination of the Championship kick-off, the Champions League qualifiers and yesterday’s community shield have rekindled some of my enthusiasm for the coming season, and I think it’s going to be a more interesting one than most people anticipate.

I fear for Liverpool; at least, I would if I gave a toss whether they do well or not. Steven Gerrard is a wonderful match winner, and a big game player of epic proportions, but he’s not a season long super-man. Xabi Alonso is a very good player, though I actually think Mamadou Sissoko is potentially better, and has the ability to control and dominate games at least as well as Gerrard does. All sounds well and good so far, but … I don’t rate Reina, I maintain that Carragher is an average player who just gives it all for his club, and the rest of Liverpool’s defence lies somewhere between shaky and awful. From an attacking point of view, they have a Birmingham reject with a penchant for breaking the law and a monumental ego, a few enthusiastic youngsters with no proven quality, a Welsh psychopath who only performs for three to five games a season and who’s had more clubs than I’ve had hangovers, and a huge hole where a strike-force should be. A club with zero capable forwards doesn’t stand a chance of challenging Chelsea, and one with a few gaps elsewhere and a manager who thinks he’s far better than he is, is in serious trouble of embarrassing itself. The only reason Liverpool will likely finish in the top five is because they have three solid, high-quality central midfielders.

As they have done in almost all of their championship seasons, Arsenal could surprise this year. In Jens Lehmann and Kolo Toure they have arguably the best ‘keeper and defender in the league (I think Terry is overrated, but I’ll come to that in a bit), and in Philippe Senderos and Lauren they have a solid centre-half and full back to compliment. With Djourou, Eboue, Almunia and Hoyte they have some very capable backups in all positions. The ability to call Arsenal’s defence ‘World Class’ will be determined by what happens at left-back: Ashley Cole can never play for Arsenal again, the dim-witted star-struck moron has burnt his bridges, and instead of smashing the club he used to supports’ appearance record and becoming an all time legend; he and his agent are chasing Chelsea’s money and strengthening their team, to be remembered as someone who had it all and pissed it in the wind. Gael Clichy is highly rated yet in my eyes a little too raw, Mathieu Flamini is not a left back, and Justin Hoyte doesn’t convince me as a first team regular. A breakthrough from the impressive Armand Traore wouldn’t surprise me, but I think Arsenal will need a world class replacement for Ashley Cole if they are to mount a serious challenge to Chelsea. In Francesc Fabregas, Arsenal could potentially have the outstanding midfielder of his generation, and in Thierry Henry they already have the outstanding forward of his generation; with Thomas Rosicky, Robin van Persie and Alexander Hleb showing serious promise, and the experience of Freddie Ljungberg to back them up, there seems to be plenty of attacking options for Arsène Wenger to challenge Jose Mourinho’s playboys, however it’s another pair of players that could determine Arsenal’s success. Emmanuel Adebayor does not look able to lead the line or give some much needed goal-scoring support to Thierry Henry, and either van Persie needs to deliver, or Arsenal need another forward. Gilberto has been very quiet and unimpressive for the last two years, and in such a crucial position, his club will need an excellent season or a replacement, and quickly.

I’m certain Liverpool won’t present a serious challenge for Chelsea, and while I think there are many factors that could affect Arsenal’s ability to challenge—not least the fact that they’ll likely sell one of their truly World Class players to their direct competition—I do think that they could surprise a few people who think that their youthful team will be no match for the multi-millionaire might of Abramovich’s men.

Stand by for my thoughts on Manchester United and Chelsea later this week.

(45) Comment(s) | Permanent link to this article

# Posted by Anonymous Dominic Staunton at 8:29 AM
On Steven Gerrard:

"He’s a great player, but not a big game one." - Jordan Harper (January 2005)

"a wonderful match winner, and a big game player of epic proportions" - Jordan Harper (August 2006)

I've read your blinkered, unreasoned, arse-tinted ramblings for a couple of years now - more for humour than anything else.

Your writing is full of contradictions (the above being a classic example) and biased mutterings with no substance. Your Rooney rant was frankly pathetic.

How can you not rate Reina? He might not be the best in the world but he's a good keeper. Carragher is average? Finnan shaky? Riise awful? Hyypia shaky? These awful, shaky and average gentlemen were the second meanest defence in the Premiership last term. Can you back up your comments with anything at all?

Law breaking - how does that translate to an assessment of his potential contribution to Liverpool? How exactly did Birmingham reject him? He has paid his debt to society (he should have been given a bloody bigger debt to repay, but that's another arguement). Something against the Welsh now? You've only had 5 hangovers? You should get out more.

Benitez thinks he's far better than he is? Do you have ANY justification for this comment? His track record is more than reasonable and I've never heard the bloke say one self-promoting word. He seems extraordinarily modest to me.

You will never understand anything about football or be able to offer well-founded, substantiated comment until you remove yourself from your little Arsenal cocoon.

And before you jump to any conclusions (just in case), I don't support Liverpool, United or Arsenal. I am just attempting to offer objective observation on your increasingly pointless mutterings.
# Posted by Blogger Jordan at 9:15 PM
Now breathe ...

Can a player not improve in 18 months?

Rooney still is, and always will be, a chavvy scumbag with a freakish footballing talent.

Reina's average, I've never rated Carragher and I never will, Riise is a poor defender who's very good at toe-pokes from 40 yards, I used to rate Finann, but he's gone backwards.

In Pennant, Fowler (injured again?) and Bellamy they've got three troublemakers plain and simple; they may be talented, but whether their talent is worth the inconsistency, court-cases, jail-time, fines, and bad feeling from other clubs that comes with it is for the supporters to decide.

Benitez is generally a well spoken and modest man as far as I can tell, and his trophy record is impressive, but some of his decisions recently have led me to believe that he thinks more of his abilities and his players than I do.

And you don't support Liverpool, United or Arsenal eh? Bloody Chelsea fans ... coming out of the woodwork left right and centre.
# Posted by Anonymous Dom at 9:43 PM
Gerrard hasn't changed as much as your contradiction implies. I just think that you're a bit of a stranger to objectivity.

Was Tony Adams not in pretty much the same boat as Pennant at one time? The new England captain was no saint in his younger days. Everyone grows up some time - Liverpool just have to pray that Pennant finally has.

And I support a rubbish non-league team, for my sins, many a mile (in so many ways) from the King's Road.
# Posted by Blogger Jordan at 11:25 AM
Tony Adams was a fuckup, not a complete twat, which is ironic, as he's now straightened himself out he seems to have turned into a twat.

Gerrard has matured massively in the last couple of years. He's learnt that he has to play for 90 minutes rather than 10, and to do it every week, which he never used to to.

Keane and Vieira routinely rolled Gerrard over in matches between Liverpool and United/Arsenal, and he could never grab a game by the scruff of the neck. Even now he sometimes forgets (see the first half of last years FA Cup Final, where Reo-Coker dominated the midfield for the entire first half, and the Champions League Final the year before), but he's improved hugely.
# Posted by Anonymous Obispo at 5:19 PM
I'm sorry but your assessment of Liverpool is bordering on ridiculous and bitter. I find it no surprise that whilst completely writing off our chances, you've maintained that Arsenal - despite losing 99 years of experience and signing a single, erratic playmaker (as if you didn't have enough), are capable title contenders.

Where to begin? Well, how about with your crude analysis of our defence.

Now, I'd love to know how a keeper you don't rate can win the golden gloves in his first season. Now, you could, like so many bitter utd fans have done in the past, say it's because of the strength of the defence. Which it isn't, given the sheer improvement of the same back 4 since 04/05 and 05/06. Therefor, it must be something to do with Reina, no? He must be a quite extra-ordinary keeper to manage to make "average" players like Carragher and shaky-awful players like Riise and Hyypia, into the second best defence in the premiership. Picking up 22 clean sheets.

Now, statistically, I can point out that last season Riise made the least number of mistakes from our back-line. So, your assumption of him as a dour defender who pops up with the "odd 40 yard toe-poke" is completely foolish. Infact, 10 of the goals we conceded last season can be directly contributed to errors by the now departed Josemi and Traore - these stats are taken from Oliver Anderson, who was the statistician for Paul Tomkins Red Revival, among others.

Onto your rather short-sighted assessment of our attacking options.

Jermaine Pennant: Ahh yes, one of your favourites. Could hardly expect a fair view of him given some of the articles you've written on him in the past. It's fair to say that you were probably amongst those last season who felt we needed better service from out wide for our strikers to do well. So what have we done? We've signed statistically the best, and most frequent, crosser of the ball in the premiership. That's a poor, nonsensical move right there.

Craig Bellamy: The Psychopathic welshman that shows up for a few games? I seem to remember him dominating Senderos at Ewood Park last year, quite comfortably. Oh yes, and he has a strike rate of a goal every 3.69 shots. Thierry Henry's is well over a goal every 4 shots. Infact, in Europe, he barely manages a goal every 7 shots. Compared to Eto'o, Trezeguet and Shevchenko, who manage to score atleast once in every 3-4 shots.

A club with zero capable forwards? Dirk Kuyt has 71 goals in 3 seasons with Feyenoord - now,I know you're going to mention Kezman, who you actually rated, unsurprisingly. So, I urge you to look at Van Nistlerooy, Romario, Van Basten, Ronaldo - all strikers who've flourished in Holland.

Peter "8 goals in 12 international appearneces" Crouch.

Robbie "3rd top scorer in premiership history" Fowler

And Craig "I take less shots than Diva Henry to score" Bellamy.

You can make it out to look poor if you want, or you can just look at it from a reasonable point of view. I know our strikers aren't as good as mentioned there. But I also don't believe they're half as bad as your half-arsed assessment makes out.

I find it particularly amusing that immediately into your first few sentences about Arsenal, you're quick to call Lehmann the best keeper in the league. Is this despite conceding many goals more than Reina - who, by your own admission, has a shaky-poor defence infront of him. Unlike Lehmann, who you believe has the best defender in the premiership (I'm sure Gallas, King and Ferdinand - to name but a few - think as highly of him), protecting his goal.

I love again how you're quick to lable Djourou, Eboue, Aluminia and Hoyte more than adequete back up, yet there is no mention for Aurelio (la liga winner), Daniel Agger (you may remember him marking Didier Drogba out of the game last week. Something with Toure has never managed) and Gabriel Paletta (he would be the mainstay of the defence in Lionel Messi's Argentina U19's). More ignorant bias.

Oh, by the way, before i leave you with this thought. I do recall mentioning to you a few months back how Owen Hargreaves was a far better player than you made out. I think you should concede I was right and you were showing ignorant bias, much like right now.
# Posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 11:33 AM
Hooray, the first sensible report on Liverpool's chances i have read all pre-season. Every bloody paper i pick up all they can say is Liverpool are the ONLY team to challange Chelsea a number of 'football reporters' even had them finishing top hahaha.

I agree they are, lets face it, a bit shit and will not win the league for another good ten years.

Every season from 1992 all liverpool fans say 'this is our season this year' I for one am sick of the media scouse bias the BBC don't even pretend anymore.

World Class defending against the mighty Blades on Saturday!!
# Posted by Anonymous Obispo at 12:01 PM
Perhaps you should stop reading the gutter press in this country then. As it's making you into a very bitter, childish little man/girl.

Replying to the rest would be nonsensical, so I'll just do the standard Liverpool fan approach.


# Posted by Anonymous scouse rat face at 12:07 PM
18, nearly the amount of years without winning the league

# Posted by Anonymous Obispo at 1:17 PM
Yup. Still, it's not quite 26 or 50 is it...
# Posted by Blogger Jordan at 3:21 PM
There are optimists, and pessimists, and I can quite comfortably say that you, obispo, are the most optimistic person I've ever heard speak!

You even make Pennant sound like something other than a Birmingham reject.

You can support any view with statistics (even, it seems, that Bellamy isn't the most inconsistent player in the history of the league, or that despite being old and 8 years past it, that Robbie Fowler can honestly be considered an attacking option, or -- even funnier -- that Peter Crouch isn't hilariously bad), I'm talking about real life.
# Posted by Anonymous Obispo at 1:04 PM
I'm not an optimistic Jordan, just a realist. Something which you plainly are not. I'd hardly call 23 goals in 40 games hilariously bad, would you? That's Peter Crouch's record since Christmas, I believe.

Were Pennant simply a "reject", would they have attempted to hold onto him for so long. Surely if he were a reject, there'd be no one interested in him?

If you could support any arguement with statistics, you yourself would have some defence for your club putting up another joke of a performance at the weekend. But still, far more likely than ourselves to be title contenders.

Sorry, I just can't get over some of the double standards you utilise - and it appears I'm not the only one - You're a decent writer who's clearly blinded by his bias towards Arsenal. There's no other explination to your comments that I'm an optimist for feeling that we as a club can do well. Yet you of course are a sensible fan... despite thinking your side can win the league again this year.

I give up.
# Posted by Anonymous Andyk at 8:29 PM

You poor fool. Can you see no further than the end of your arsenal supporting nose? Perhaps Liverpool wont win the league this year but by belittling them in such a foolish manner just demonstrates your ignorance.

You give us Arsenal supporters a bad name. I wish you would be more even handed in your assessments.

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