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All Things Footie | Thursday, January 16 | Jordan

Warning! Arsenal related rant

After being inspired by the writings of arseblogger, I feel the need to bring a certain set of injustices to a wider audience. I'm not the FA’s biggest fan most of the time, least of all when they go around banning Arsenal players for using naughty words. There's a line though. A line that can only be crossed by a bunch of disorganised, inconsistent and downright incompetent idiots.

When I usually think of people in these regulatory jobs, referees and traffic wardens for instance, I try to tell myself they're just doing what they have to do. It's not their fault that the rules are archaic. Following things to the letter of the law may be annoying but at least it's consistent. When you start bending that law for some people and not for others though, one wonders …

Thierry Henry. A downright nice guy by all accounts and someone who is a joy to watch and an absolute credit to the game. As you may be aware, the Frenchman recently passed a goalscoring milestone for his club and to celebrate he requested permission to show a commemorative T-shirt — as is his penchant. Instead of giving Andy Gray and Martin Tyler something to discuss — what on earth did this new shirt mean, who it was referring to? — the miserable shits denied Henry's request. He's been warned before and he would be in trouble if he did it again.

So then Mr FA Tosser, please explain James Beattie ‘getting away’ with showing a shirt against Spurs? Not that I think Beattie should be censured. I don't think anyone should. Who cares if a player displays a humorous message to celebrate a goal?

Last season Dennis Bergkamp was told that he couldn't appeal against his red card (versus Liverpool) because cards for violent conduct are not rescindable (is that a word?). On a number of occasions awful refereeing decisions — against just about every team — are not rebuffed because ‘if the referee saw the incident and took appropriate [or at least what he deemed appropriate at the time] action’ there is no way the video panel will look at the incident again.

So how come Carlo Cudicini has had his red card, for violent conduct, examined by the video panel and rescinded?

If I was more of a crusader I'd write to the boys in charge (Dear Mr F*ckwit) but I'm not. It's not like they'd listen anyway, they'd have to take the cotton wool out of their ears.

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