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All Things Footie | Tuesday, February 19 | Jordan

Big Cisse

If you need the definition of a transfer race, look no further than Boulogne's Stade de la Liberation a week ago. In the first 45 minutes no less than 12 premiership clubs' representatives (Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Leeds, Tottenham, Newcastle, Fulham, Southampton, Middlesbrough, Ipswich, Charlton and West Ham if you're interested) oohhed and aahhed at 20 year old forward Djibril Cisse. The two goals from Auxerre's forward also impressed scouts from Parma, Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund but he's professed a desire to play in England.

Lucky us. Not for the Chairman who has to try and negotiate down the £30m asking price. His idol is Thierry Henry, here's hoping.

It's aki time again, if he wasn't a footballer he'd be a football journalist — Aki Riihilahti interviews himself…

Q:Wazuup?
A:Wazuup!

Q:How are you?
A:Bit hungry
Q:Me too but is that all?
A:No, some existential ups and downs but fundamentally confident

Q:Ups and downs, yet confident?
A:Sometimes in life there can be light machine errors and unexpected speedbumps. It just slows down the speed a bit but does not mean that the road or driver aint right

Q:How about football then?
A:It is rounder, but same principles

Q:Yes, and why did we lose against Coventry?
A:They scored three goals and we scored only one
Q:Stupid answer that was
A:Was it?

Q:Good away victory in Sheffield?
A:Why there is a question mark?
Q:What do you mean?
A:Question tries to answer itself already. So I can only confirm it otherwise I would violate questioners opinion or smartness.

Q:Are you mental?
A:In terms of who?
Q:Forget it.
A:Whatever makes you happy

The rest of the interview is just as funny, go here to read it.

I've not updated since the England game so I think that a word of praise must go to Darius Vassell who was not only superb for the whole game but scored a wonderful goal too.

Anyone who's heard Arsené Wenger moan (probably quite rightly to be fair) about the scheduling of the Newcastle vs. Arsenal FA Cup Quarter Final 2 days before the London club are due to play Deportivo La Coruña may be interested to know that the FA agree and the game has been re-scheduled for the Saturday afternoon.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter has praised Niall Quinn for deciding to donate the proceeds from his forthcoming testimonial to charity. In true Smashie and Nicie fashion the big Irishman will don his disco pants on May 14th to attempt to raise £1m for a local children's hospitals. Good on you big man.

From schoolteacher to inaugural England manager Sir Walter Winterbottom has died at the grand old age of 89.

78 wins, 33 draws and 28 defeats from 139 games in charge between 1946 and 1962.

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