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All Things Footie | Monday, September 24 | Jordan

Owen & Out

Oh dear, oh dear. England do have other forwards, and some of them aren't that bad (Robbie Fowler, Alan Smith, Francis Jeffers). But something tells me we'll see two hornless rhino's playing on the 6th of October. Greece - meet Andy Cole and Emile Heskey. I'm sure you've heard about them, they'll run all night, mis-control 80% of near perfect passes, miss a hatful of chances put on a plate for them and generally make Michael Owen look like a cross between Pelé, Maradona and George Best.

I still think we'll win the group mind, Germany will lose (or maybe draw) to Finland in Munich and England will bore us to death with a 0-0 draw in Athens. Needless to say we will create chances and if we do score it will be through Beckham (free kick) or Scholes (30 yard drive/header from corner).

As for the rest of the weekend, stop moaning Sam Allardyce. Intentional or not - rules are rules - and Ricardo Gardener made contact (as the last man) with Dennis Bergkamp and prevented him from reaching a ball which was a clear goalscoring opportunity. Red card, plain and simple, not a case of 'I don't know what football's coming to'. He saw the incident so well that he thought it was Ray Parlour who Gardener bundled into.

The central defensive partnership of Gudni Bergsson and Mike Whitlow was not found wanting when confronted with the excellent, in form Thierry Henry and the inventive Dennis Berkamp. The show was stolen, as it seems to be every week, by the irrepressible Michael Ricketts whose finish over David Seaman from 5 yards was sublime - and so very nearly made goal of the week.

Paul Gascoigne is dry, and reminiscent of a reformed Paul Merson, he had a superb game as Everton lost 1-0 to a spirited Blackburn side at Ewood Park. Blackburn owe a debt to goalkeeper Brad Friedal stopping an excellent Duncan Fersuson header in the first half, saving a penalty and making an inspired stop from Joe Max-Moore in the second.

West Ham finally got a goal (or three) in open play this season, in a Di Canio, Hutchinson and Kanuté inspired victory the Hammers notched up a much needed trio of Premiership points by beating a poor Newcastle side, fresh from beating United, at Upton Park. The only glimmer of hope for Newcatle fans being the excellent Laurent Robert, it seems the toon army have a new hero.

Chelsea were a little unlucky to only get a draw from a Middlesborough side lacking in invention. A harsh penalty three minutes into injury time, despatched superbly by the wonderful Alen Boksic, was the point clincher and tonic for the long journey home.

For a full list of results for the weekend head on over to football365 premiership, first division, second division, third division, conference.

My favourite story of the day unfolded at Carrow Road, imagine.... you're watching a slightly above average game, Norwich are edging it 1-0 over a hard working Burnley side.... news filters through that Man Utd have gone a goal up against local rivals Ipswich at Old Trafford.... is this true? you need official, professional confirmation of the score, don't you? Just look to the scoreboard ladies and gentlemen......

Manchester United 1 Scum 0

absolutely brilliant.

Here they are... the fabulous, fantastic, finely tuned all things footie weekly awards;

Performace of the week : Bolton vs Arsenal
Player of the week : Gudni Bergsson (Bolton)
Goal of the week : Jari Litmanen (Liverpool vs Tottenham)
Team of the week :
Brad Friedal
Luke Young
Gudni Bergsson
Mike Whitlow
Gregory Vignal
Paul Gascoigne
Don Hutchinson
West Ham
Harry Kewell
Ole Gunnar Sølkjaer
Man Utd
Niall Quinn
Jimmy-Floyd Hasselbaink

What are your views on the weekend's matches? Think Ricketts' goal should have beaten Litmanen's beatiful finish to goal of the week? Maybe you think I should have mentioned Man United's 4-0 reserve team victory against Ipswich, I'd actually agree with you there but I can't think of anything original to say. How about the possibility of Chris Sutton getting called up for England, I wish I was joking. To get it off your chest go to the forum and have your say on the action.

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